When one door closes

Hello again!

Okay, so that was a long hiatus from the blog.  I haven’t posted in quite some time.  Life happens, you know?  It’s been quite a year.  Life-changing decisions leading to chaos and calm all at the same time.  Last summer, my husband and I decided something didn’t feel right.  It was a conversation we casually discussed off and on for a few years.  Then a moment of clarity came in the form of vacation last June… the space and the time for deep conversations on what we really wanted for our family was granted.  And our conclusion was thankfully the same, we needed to move.  It certainly wasn’t an easy decision and not one we made lightly.  Moving meant taking our kids out of the only school district they’ve ever known, leaving friendships behind and leading us toward uncertain change in the future. 

It was simply a leap of faith.  Pure faith in knowing that what we were doing was the right decision for our children and for our family.  The fit wasn’t right where we were at and we were looking for something different that came in the form of family support and good old fashioned small town values.  So much had changed in the past seven years since moving to our previous home.  Brady was diagnosed with Eosinophilic Esophagitus (EoE) over six years ago.  Brady then had his feeding tube inserted over five years ago.  Our lives changed so drastically in a blink of an eye. Suddenly life was complicated.  We were complicated.  Everything about our lives became complicated from the way we ate meals to the way we interacted with family and friends to how we found daycare for our children.  We couldn’t just put our kids into any daycare due to Brady’s feeding tube.  From there, it became obvious we were going to have to rely on family in a very big way. 

Five years ago we had to take our kids out of daycare to accommodate Brady’s needs.  That led to three grandparents all taking turns watching our kids 5 days a week.  It was such a blessing.  And with that blessing came the guilt of all the needs our family now had and how much we had come to rely on family members to help us.   We started to have the conversation a few years ago that perhaps we should look at making it easier on the grandparents who had so generously given up their time to commute to our house during super early morning hours to watch our kids or get our kids on and off the bus while my husband and I were at work. 

When one door closes…

Suddenly the answer was so clear… it was time to move closer to home.  To a place where our kids could get much of the same upbringing that we had as kids.  To a place where small town values were still alive and well.  To a place where family would be just a few short miles away.  So, up went the “for sale” sign and one month later the “sold” sign followed.  Last summer was nothing short of a whirlwind with countless house showings and hard decisions on where we would live next. 

We closed a seven-year chapter full of hope and excitement of buying our dream home in the beginning that led to a different chapter altogether.  One full of pain, sorrow, and frustration on our road to diagnosis for Brady.  Living through his first year with a feeding tube also made a hard impact.  It was a chapter that through twists and turns led us to pure survival mode with a few bumps and bruises along the way. 

It’s funny how things can come full circle.  In August 2016, we began a new chapter in our lives full of hope and excitement once again.  This chapter started with the dream of building our own home.  This new beginning also included the start of a new school year in a new school system.  This chapter marked the beginning of new friendships formed and new family traditions started.  This chapter could easily be entitled, “Validation”.  All those concerns my husband and I had over the past several years slowly began to dissipate and what filled that space was full of the realization that the hard decisions we had made in the past year were absolutely the right decisions for our family.  What we have found in our move is a place that truly feels like home.  A place where new friendships have already been formed that I know will be deep and lasting.  A place full of support and love.

The day our house officially went on the market, July 2016.

Another door opens…

During the building of our new home, these past several months have been… well, shall I say interesting.  After we sold our home, we moved to our new town and had planned to stay in an apartment during the duration of the build.  Unfortunately, that very apartment fell through at the very last minute due to health concerns for Brady.  We decided it wasn’t worth risking his health, so we went with Plan B… moving in with my husband’s parents.  We were there from August to May and endured the painstakingly slow process of our home being built. 

Plan B certainly had its’ challenges.  For one, we were completely out of sync and out of our routine.  And unfortunately, I’ll admit that Brady suffered the brunt of that.  Feeding therapy took a back seat as we tried to conform to new house rules and traditions.  We didn’t make much progress at all with Brady eating and trying new foods. It simply felt like it was too much to take on in the middle of the chaos.   

Our feeding therapist told us that was okay at our session in December. I decided that our therapist was absolutely right.  I needed to stop with the guilt that Brady wasn’t getting the time and attention he needed with therapy.  I needed to be okay with the fact that when we moved into our new home, things would be changing.  We would be able to get back into a routine; a routine that will be challenging as we find our way back.  That routine will allow us the time and space to truly get back to the road that will help Brady get better.

I can safely say we are now ready to open the door to a new chapter.  

New game plan

And so we start our new game plan and I can’t wait to share the next part of our journey.  We have ramped up Brady’s feeding therapy this summer.  Brady’s feeding therapist has full confidence that my husband and I will get there.  That we can absolutely get Brady to a new, healthy place with eating and trying new foods.  To a place in far, far away land where a feeding tube is no longer needed. 

At last, it’s time to pack our bags and be on our way.

Moving company at the storage unit, May 2017

      

Move in day, at last! May, 2017.