Growing up, I had a lot of passions in life. I couldn’t just choose a few things, I loved
it all. Sports, singing, dancing,
reading… and the list goes on and on. I
found basketball at the age of 3 and I committed by heart and soul to the sport
for years to come. The game brought me
such happiness. No matter what was going
on in my life, and let me tell you, my childhood was the definition of
dysfunctional… basketball was there for me, through thick and thin. When I walked onto the court, everything else
just fell away. Whether I was getting
ready for a basketball practice, camp or game… the elation I felt before
walking out onto the court was indescribable.
It was my escape, sure, but it filled my head, heart and hands with pure
joy.
I lead with that story simply as a way to convey what I know to be
true. When you find something that
brings you such joy, it can be in a word – life-changing. All those years ago when I found out I was pregnant
and having a boy, my brain went straight to how much fun it would be to raise a
son, and sports was just a natural fantasy to my vision. Oh, how naïve and assuming I was back
then.
Fast-forward ten years and my vision of raising a son has evolved and
matured and led me to places I could never dream of. Raising a boy and girl has given me insight
to the striking differences there are between two children. On one hand, my daughter has many passions –
sports, singing, dancing – hmmm, I guess she gets it honestly. All of which give
her a true happiness. What a reward to watch and catch glimpses of pure bliss
on her face while out on the soccer field or on a stage.
My son, on the other hand, has had so many health challenges
thrown his way. It has been hard to find his “thing”… that thing that fills his
heart with joy. Around the age of 5,
Brady tried soccer. After two
line-drives to his g-tube and enduring an immense amount of pain, it was safe
to say his soccer days were over. Next
we tried baseball. He enjoyed the game
while it was still coach-pitch, but he wanted nothing to do with kid pitch for
fear of getting hit. Pick and choose
your battles, I told myself. If he was
uncomfortable, coupled with whishy-washy feelings on playing the sport,
it was time to hang up the baseball bat and glove and move on.
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| Soccer days |
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| Last season of soccer |
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| T-ball days |
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| Coach-pitch days |
The more activities we tried, the more frustrating it became
to see Brady not loving something. I so
badly wanted him to experience a love for something like I did in my
youth. He hasn’t been that motivated to
try new things, but all that changed in the summer of 2017 when we went out to
the county fair to visit the livestock barns.
As we went through each barn, Brady was fascinated by what he saw. Cows
and goats and pigs and horses! But it
was the sheep that spoke to him the most and a seed was firmly planted. A seed that would come to life when open
houses were announced to join 4-H the following winter.
I’m not exactly sure why or how – but something told me that
we needed to pursue this idea of 4-H with the potential of raising sheep for
the fair. I have to think it was a total
God thing. Plain and simple. There were so many obstacles that could have
gotten in our way. Lack of knowledge and
insecurities of diving into something completely foreign -- to finding a place
to board the sheep (our neighborhood has strict deed restrictions regarding
livestock). So many things running
through my head – yet I didn’t let a one of ‘em detour me from finding out
more.
We went to a 4-H club open house in January and were quickly
overcome by the kindness shown by all of the advisors and families. We felt so welcomed and even though we had no
idea what we were doing, I knew deep down the club members around us wouldn’t
let us fail or falter. Going off gut instinct, we went full steam ahead and
moved forward with buying sheep. We were
able to find a kind farmer down the road who was willing and able to let us
board our sheep in his barn… and suddenly the impossible became possible.
BECOMING A SHEPHERD
On April 8, we bought 2 lambs. Brady being a huge history buff and Star Wars
fan, aptly named the sheep, “Abe Lincoln” and “Yoda”. From the very start, Brady absolutely loved
having sheep. Finally! That thing that brought him joy! He never complained about driving over to the
farm twice a day to feed the lambs.
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| At the sheep sale, April 8, 2018 |
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| April 8, 2018 |
Our
first month as sheep owners didn’t go by without a hitch though. The unseasonably cold spring weather was
tough on the young livestock. Almost 4
weeks after bringing the lambs to their new home, “Yoda” died, most likely from
pneumonia. In a word, it was devastating
on our young shepherd. Brady has never
really had to experience death or grief.
The day "Yoda" died, we sat down with Brady and told him the news. He cried and cried ... and my heart broke for him.
The sheep breeder we bought our lambs off of could not have
been more supportive through the whole process, despite the breeders’ son going
through his own medical health crisis.
We adopted “Yoda 2.0” the very day “Yoda” died to help with the
transition. Although Brady was sad, he
surprised me with how adept he was with handling his own grief while moving
forward and onward. We ended up adopting
one more sheep that day that our daughter named, “Eileen”. So, now we had 3 sheep to take care of and
Brady was ecstatic.
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| Reading to the lambs in the first few weeks |
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| Reading to the lambs in the first few weeks |
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| Walking the lambs in early spring |
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| Walking the lambs in early summer |
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| Walking the lambs in early summer |
The weeks went by fast.
I wondered if the honeymoon phase would wear off eventually. I thought Brady would start begrudging the
daily trips to feed and walk the lambs.
That never happened. In fact, Brady showed so much maturity and
responsibility through the entire process that it took me by such delighted
surprise by how much this kid was getting out of his 4-H project. The days became much warmer, yet the
motivation to feed and walk never wavered. It was in those days leading up to
the fair that it hit me – we were on to something special.
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| Getting lessons from his mentor on how to show market lambs at the fair |
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| Getting lessons on how to show market lambs at the fair |
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| Getting lessons on how to show market lambs at the fair |
THE GIFT
Finally, fair time was here!
So much hard work and anticipation for fair week and finally the time
had come! We moved our sheep in on a
Saturday and it was a complete whirlwind. The very next day was show day and
Brady could not have been more excited to go out into the arena.
After watching his sister at countless games and events, it was his turn
to shine in this brave new world.
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| Move-in day at the fair |
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| Move-in day at the fair Brady with Mr. Roger (the farmer who boarded our sheep) |
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| Move-in day at the fair Brady and Sydney with Mr. Roger (the farmer who boarded our sheep) |
What happened on that Sunday was magical. I was overcome with so much emotion as I
watched my son flourish and shine in a way that I never thought could be
possible. In the arena, it didn’t matter
that he was a kid suffering from a rare disease. It didn’t matter that he had a feeding tube
that has held him back in so many ways.
It didn’t matter he was small for his age. No, in this arena, Brady could be Brady. And the crowd embraced that. He smiled. And smiled. And smiled. He fell down a few times. Yet, he
smiled. THIS! This moment was the moment I had been waiting
for for 10 long years. The moment when my son could experience such joy in happiness
in an arena where he was accepted and encouraged and loved.
So many things have not been easy for Brady. But this?
It just did. Something came alive
last week that I’m going to hold on to for years to come. Keeping an open mind and being brave and
curious are just a few lessons I have learned through our 4-H experience. We could have easily said that going the
livestock route had too many obstacles.
And if we had, I shudder to think on all the moments my son would have
missed.
And that’s just it.
My son had a moment last week at the fair. It’s hard to explain everything this kid has
already gotten out of this 4-H club, after only being a member for 7 short
months. This experience has reminded me
there is nothing Brady can’t do when he puts his mind to something. Brady has gained confidence and made new
friends and has found something that he can truly make his own. What a win!
And although Brady didn’t bring home a coveted blue ribbon, he placed
high in all of his shows. What a
confidence-builder that was! And he is
already hungry for next year and can’t wait until the sheep sale next April to
do this all over again.
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| Show Day |
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| Show Day |
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| Show Day |
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| Show Day |
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| Show Day |
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| Show Day |
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| Show Day, being congratulated by his mentor, Kaleb |
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| Show ribbons |
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| Skillathon Day |
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| Sale Day |
FINDING OUR TRIBE
I know Brady has learned so many lessons this past week…
What it means to work hard for something.
What it means to help a fellow neighbor/club member out. What it means to love and nurture an animal
and how to say that emotional good-bye at the end. He learned what it means to encourage
others. What it means to be accepted by
others. What it means to have people in
your corner. And perhaps, most
importantly, what it feels like when you have finally found your tribe.
This 4-H experience has done just that. We have found our tribe. It’s amazing what happens when you find
yourself surrounded by family and new-found friends that give acceptance. Show
understanding. And provide support. It
does so much for the soul. I know my
heart is full.
To our newfound tribe, a thank you doesn’t seem enough. I can’t find the right words for the
gratitude I feel with the gifts you have given our family. It’s almost as if I have experienced an awakening
and a genuine hopefulness that I didn’t even know was missing.
For now, our family will relish in the finding of our tribe
and their gift of love as we anticipate the coming of another year in 4-H.
4‑H Pledge
I pledge my head to clearer thinking,
My heart to greater loyalty,
My hands to larger service,
and my health to better living,
for my club, my community, my country, and my world.
Let your light shine, my boy. Let your light shine.
