Monday, February 25, 2013

Sibling Rivalry

I hate to make comparisons.  I really do.  However, that is oftentimes impossible to do when you have one atypical child and one typically-developing child.

Both of my children were born in early March.  We call it “March Madness” in our house with their birthdays only being 2 years and 6 days apart.  Actually, I had the same due date for both my children but my son, Brady, came 3 weeks early and my daughter, Sydney, came two weeks early. 

My son had a few set backs in the fall of 2012 and began losing weight… again.  I remember fighting back tears as I weighed both my children the same night in December and discovered that they both weighed exactly the same.  I’m not sure why my kids weighing the same bothers me so much, other than Brady’s weight gain has been so slow while my daughter has seemingly grown up over night.


Summer 2012
Brady (age 4.5) and Sydney (age 2.5)

TWINS!
Over the past few months, oftentimes Brady and Sydney get mistaken at the grocery store, mall, school, Halloween, etc. for twins.  I always have to take in the stunned reaction of the person who asked when I tell them, “No, they’re not twins.”  I’d like to leave it at that and go about my day, but then the person inevitably stares at me in shock, oftentimes making me uncomfortable with the silence that follows, to which I then blurt out, “They’re actually two years apart.”  Why do I feel the need to explain?   I’ve had a few people who can’t seem to let it go as they keep exclaiming over and over again that they can’t believe they’re not twins!  To which I want to scream (but always refrain), “No, really!  They’re NOT twins!” 

I want to tell them to just let. it. go.  But really I have discovered that I just need to let it go.  This is our family.  These are our children.  These are our cards.  So what if they’re the same size? So what if they weigh the same?  This is me saying, “Let it go.”   It’s still hard to accept some days though.  I suppose it’s all a part of the process and I’m still learning and growing as we go. 



LIVING IN A SWEET VALLEY WORLD
On another note, I always thought it would be kind of cool to have twins.  I blame that on the book series that I was deeply dedicated to growing up, Sweet Valley High.  Maybe our situation is God’s twisted way of helping my dreams “come true”.  Not amused.   Yep, definitely not amused.

But this blog is supposed to be about "letting it go"…  this whole thing about having a four year old and two year old that both weigh 32 pounds.  And there’s not much height difference either.  Brady will turn five on March 1, 2013 and he recently had his 5 year well visit.  Once again, he came in at 5th percentile for weight and 8th percentile for height.  Relatively the same percentiles he has had his whole life, except for the year 2012 when he fell off the grid altogether.  But now he’s back on it, and I have to rejoice in those very small, eensie-weensie, baby steps. 

Perhaps 2013 will be the year of growth.  The year that Brady will indulge in eating something, anything other than Goldfish crackers and Cheese-Its.  The feeding tube helps put most of his calories in (90% of daily caloric intake), but hasn’t yet proven to be successful at true weight gain.  In actuality, Brady has gained almost five pounds since his feeding tube insertion in May 2012.  The feeling of little weight gain may mostly come from always feeling like we’re playing catch up.  Perhaps my new mantra should be slow and steady wins the race?

Here’s a look back at Brady and Sydney’s sibling journey over the past few years. 


Brady & Sydney ~ The early years


Summer 2010

Summer 2010

2010 Christmas card pic

Summer 2011

Summer 2011

2011 Christmas card pic



Brady & Sydney ~ Summer 2012









Brady & Sydney ~ Fall 2012

Go Buckeyes!

Leeds Pumpkin Farm

Leeds Pumpkin Farm

Leeds Pumpkin Farm

Playing in the leaves in the backyard

Halloween Fall 2012 - The donut and the cop



Brady & Sydney ~ Winter 2012

2012 Christmas card pic - priceless
Christmas jammies!

 

Looking back over the years of memories, I feel blessed to have two beautiful children.  Do I wish my son resembled other children who are almost five years old?  Absolutely.  Do I wish eating and gaining weight came easy for Brady?  Yes!  Do I wish my son was healthy and EoE-free?  Hells yeah.

However much I want those questions to be true, it still doesn't change the fact that Brady has EoE.  His growth journey will be up and down and ever so slow.  And here's me, trying to let that go.

Twins?  Give me a break.  Seriously.   :)